Young With the Soul of an Old Man

What’s it gonna take for this guy to come out of blog retirement? Where has he been? Why hasn’t he been blogging like he used to? I have answers for these questions, and I must say, blogging is definitely a different feel for me now. I don’t look at it the same way I used to. I love blogging, but I’ve been spoiled. The main culprit: TWITTER! Yes, Twitter. I know you all have probably been looking at my Twitterations on the side and the constant, near daily upgrades. Twitter, mixed with my iPhone (yea, I caved and went Apple. I’m happy with my choice!) allows me to speak my mind in a very concise manner. On Twitter, I can get right to the point and say what I need to. That 140 character count has really put me on track to getting what I need to say said. I’ve lately felt that my blog should be the well thought out and structured oratorical thought. Yea, I know it can be whatever I want it to be, but I wanted to speak my mind. I wanted people to not only know what I had to say, but to give the whole picture. I love knowledge, and I love being challenged. It is a key to learning, and I’m glad that I have such a thoughtful group of people that I communicate with.

I don’t know. Sometimes, I feel like I need a GOOD topic to blog about, with a GOOD set of supporting details to follow everything up. I think that, in turn, has led to me not feeling inspired to blog, but rather to tweet. Yea, I have the WordPress app on my phone, but I guess I haven’t brought myself to being comfortable enough to blog over tweeting. Rest assured, though. I’m not done with the blog, and I will be picking it back up. You know it don’t stop!

-B

First of all, I would like to have a moment of acknowledgement for all the events that have transpired since my last blog. From Barack’s historic win and inauguration to the new year to everything else, I would like to take this moment to give a nod to it all.

This blog is one that I type amidst great confusion and uneasiness. I go through things and I talk to people about the things they’re going through. I listen to the things that happen and the things I witness that involve friends and how dealings with these friends have lead to unsavory outcomes. I have come to the conclusion that we, in most cases, whore out the term/label of “friend”.

It seems, in most cases, as though two people (particularly of opposing genders) are only allowed to have 5 labels: unknown, friend, boy/girlfriend, fiance, husband/wife. Of these, the “friend” label seems to be the most ambiguous and cover the most ground. To some, a friend is someone who will provide favors for them with little to no resistance, while others regard a friend as someone whose name and face they know. The title is thrown around like a rag doll and people are allowed to read into it what they will, and that’s not always a good thing.

This complication takes it even FURTHER up the wazoo when the two parties involved are attracted to one another. The term friend gets pretzled into a myriad things to validate the party’s motives, because platonicism isn’t allowed to exist. Self control and balance seem to be out of the scope of possibility, and I, for one, am clueless as to why. When did we hit a point where people HAVE TO always make sense to us, or they cease to be valid? Is it REALLY my place to put my seal of approval on a relationship that has NOTHING to do with me? Even more, why seek the approval/acceptance from people who have nothing to do with me and who I’m with?

I wanna go back to the days when being a friend MEANT something. Being lumped in the gray area of “not someone I hate, but not someone I love” helps nobody, because if you care about where you stand, you have no idea where you stand (I hope that makes sense!).

-B

Relationships are really something. I don’t know if it’s the state of affairs or what, but I think that we (men and women) have developed into a species that seems to fear fear itself (I guess the old addage came to fruition, eh?) as it relates to getting in and maintaining relationships. It seems as of our drive to avoid being hurt leads to more problems than solutions.

Relationships now are like poker games. Both parties with their hands, making moves, pushing bluffs, and maintaining mystery, all the while, doing their best to figure out the other person’s hand, wanting to do as little as possible until you know it’s totally safe and fail-proof to put your hand down.

Talking to men and women about this issue, it seems like there are more and more people who approach these relationship situations not looking to succeed, but rather to not fail. The fear of usary or emotional abuse seems to be so much higher now than before. It seems to now have come to a situation where people are more interested in mapping out every move to prevent this or prevent that. Isn’t that what life is all about? How can you learn and grow if you never allow yourself to be human?

I’m aware of the rampant amount of hurt and emotional savagery in today’s society, but how much of our OWN actions play a part in our emotional failures? How long can we remain neutral, while demanding action from the other side? It seems that frame of mind leads to emotional stand-offs that nt only waste time, but leaves you with nothing to show for it. People are afraid of being shortchanged, but they’re totally fine with nothing? Doctor, my head.

Fear, in most cases, is immobilizing. Going into such an at-stake situation like a relationship, fear will work against you far more than it will aid you. It has a bigger chance pf increasing skepticism and clouding judgement. Not wanting to be hurt is human. However, I don’t think that the “no hurt” frame of mind puts you in a tighter cell in the emotional prison that most people try to avoid.

There’s something to be said for coming out and speaking your mind and making your moves. Life is for the taking, and if we submit ourselves to looking for a hand to hold to cross the street, you will be bound by that hand. We have the vigilance to look both ways on our own and use our judgement to know the best time to cross the street. If you feel you are after something, you should go ahead with it. If you dig it, do it!

-B