Relationships are really something. I don’t know if it’s the state of affairs or what, but I think that we (men and women) have developed into a species that seems to fear fear itself (I guess the old addage came to fruition, eh?) as it relates to getting in and maintaining relationships. It seems as of our drive to avoid being hurt leads to more problems than solutions.
Relationships now are like poker games. Both parties with their hands, making moves, pushing bluffs, and maintaining mystery, all the while, doing their best to figure out the other person’s hand, wanting to do as little as possible until you know it’s totally safe and fail-proof to put your hand down.
Talking to men and women about this issue, it seems like there are more and more people who approach these relationship situations not looking to succeed, but rather to not fail. The fear of usary or emotional abuse seems to be so much higher now than before. It seems to now have come to a situation where people are more interested in mapping out every move to prevent this or prevent that. Isn’t that what life is all about? How can you learn and grow if you never allow yourself to be human?
I’m aware of the rampant amount of hurt and emotional savagery in today’s society, but how much of our OWN actions play a part in our emotional failures? How long can we remain neutral, while demanding action from the other side? It seems that frame of mind leads to emotional stand-offs that nt only waste time, but leaves you with nothing to show for it. People are afraid of being shortchanged, but they’re totally fine with nothing? Doctor, my head.
Fear, in most cases, is immobilizing. Going into such an at-stake situation like a relationship, fear will work against you far more than it will aid you. It has a bigger chance pf increasing skepticism and clouding judgement. Not wanting to be hurt is human. However, I don’t think that the “no hurt” frame of mind puts you in a tighter cell in the emotional prison that most people try to avoid.
There’s something to be said for coming out and speaking your mind and making your moves. Life is for the taking, and if we submit ourselves to looking for a hand to hold to cross the street, you will be bound by that hand. We have the vigilance to look both ways on our own and use our judgement to know the best time to cross the street. If you feel you are after something, you should go ahead with it. If you dig it, do it!
-B
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