The song Laid Back Girl by Frankie B and Maze says something that needs to be said. I was asked how long it takes for a man to commit, how long it takes for a man to want to get married, etc. I was flabbergasted. I could not believe that I was being put on the spot to give a cookie cutter time frame of when a woman can expect certain things to happen. As with most things that are worth having in life, love has no set timeline or time frame.
My response to the questions was that it depends on the woman. Depending on the compatibility of the parties involved, that timeline could be moved forward or back. It depends on the man involved. It depends on the woman (sometimes the man wants the relationship sooner than the woman does). Looking at the global variables, there’s no specific answer that can be given.
Then, when the shoe is on the other foot, and men are the ones asking about timelines, the woman gets offended. She wants to take her time and wants her desires for pacing to be respected without question or objection. There’s something very lopsided about that. Is one party immune to the requirement they make of others?
Why do we rush? Why are we always in search of guarantees? Why can’t we go back to the days of relying on our instincts and hunches and trusting in the higher power that sounds so comforting telling other people? You will make far more mistakes rushing than you would if you had taken your time…
-B
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